Back in my pre-kid days, when I was delusional about what having a kid would be like, I vowed that having a kid wouldn’t keep me from getting out and about and doing things. Without even considering the car seat meltdowns and navigating around nap schedules, I really didn’t account for how hard it is to simply LEAVE THE HOUSE.
Let’s play make believe for a moment and say the baby woke up in the best mood, with no poopy diaper or blowout. Breakfast was a dream and they neatly ate everything and said “Thank you Mommy, I love you!” after. Maybe they even quietly colored for awhile. What a glorious morn!
The second you decide to get ready to go somewhere, it’s all over. Toddlers can sense it. They could be playing like independent little angels, the second you think “ok I’m going to get things gathered to go” all is lost. Toddlers sense the glimmer of hope you hold inside about a nice outing and chance to get out of the house. Suddenly they become whiny, needy things. Following you everywhere, wanting to be picked up. Now they need a snack, but no don’t leave! They want you to sit and watch them eat their snack. Now read this book 17 times. Basically they will find a way to make it impossible for you accomplish one single thing. Just hope that you’ve already managed to get yourself dressed and the kid dressed all while thinking it was just to stay home all day.
It could be a quick trip to the store, seems easy enough right? WRONG! It is inevitable that one or all of the following will be missing: keys, your sanity, debit card, shoes (always a missing shoe! Whyyyyyyyy?), the shopping list you scratched out on the back of a permission slip you were supposed to turn in to daycare two days ago (crap, I wrote on that AND forgot to turn it in?!)
God forbid you’re going somewhere like the pool. That adds sooo many more things. Snacks and backup snacks since whatever you first picked will be so wrong and disgusting suddenly, safety gear, swimsuit for yourself (oh sweet lord, when did I last shave both of my whole legs?), multiple outfits, hip flask (hahaha kidding. Kind of), magazines or a book that you keep bringing in vain since you will only ever read the first page over and over and over again.
Yes it’s a very nice idea to have stuff ready to go the night before. I’m simply not that organized. Plus Butters can sense the preparedness and will refuse to eat breakfast, get dressed, or stay sane while I try to assemble myself to not look like a homeless zombie.
I could plan my outings and errands when my husband is home to watch Butters, but the thing is most days I really just need to get out of the house. I think we both get a little stir crazy and tired of looking at each other. Plus I do like to get out and attempt to do fun things with him.
So where are we going today? The zoo AND the pool! What can I say? Parents are clearly masochists.
Update: So far so good! Zoo trip and lunch at an actual restaurant and no meltdowns! Now for a nap and then the pool!